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When food hurts: SOL 22

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                                          ______________________________
We are at the local sandwich shop, my husband and I. I look at everything on the menu knowing each and every single item will hurt my stomach. My stomach is a source of pain for me all the time, but no doctor can tell me why. 

It's Celiacs--nope it's not. It's allergies--nope it's not.

Nothing will fix it. I will be in pain forever, I think. So I order the large roast beef sub with mayo, onions, and pickles. My husband raises his eyebrows but knows better than to say something. I have been upset about an incident at school today. It is worse for me when I'm unsure of the outcome. I look down at my sub and forget about school. I eat the sandwich so fast I barely remember the chewy roast beef, the crunchy onions, the sour pickles, and the creamy mayo. My sub is gone. My husband, who is a fast eater by nature, still has most of his in front of him. "Hungry?," he says. I nod.

And then the pain comes. Sharp pains in my lower left side that radiate throughout my stomach. It feels like the worst gas imaginable, but there is no release. I put my hand on my stomach. My husband shakes his head. He is used to my mistreatment of myself.

Food is my savior and my enemy.

Comments

  1. I've been thinking of you since your Vox yesterday. Hope you are feeling better and get some answers soon!

    Jennifer

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  2. Oh this is so challenging. I hope you can get it figured out. We lived for years with allergies - my son - just at 12 he outgrew majority of them but I know what it is to have to be so careful all the time. It is exhausting.

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  3. Oh no! I hope your stomach feels better!!!

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  4. Now that I know what it was, I feel better reading this slice, Kimberley. Rest up...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Now that I know what it was, I feel better reading this slice, Kimberley. Rest up...

    ReplyDelete
  6. I know the feeling of turning to food for comfort, and that can be bad for my health. I can't imagine pain piled on top of that. I hope the docs can figure out what your body is trying to tell you; one should be able to enjoy such a yummy-sounding sandwich with pleasure, not pain!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh Kimberley. I'm so sorry to hear of the pain you are in.

    ReplyDelete

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